Hello creatures of the past, present, and future! This is your favorite alien reporter Ryder Eclipse. I am currently on Tatooine where I will ask one of the biggest questions ever asked. Why do red shirts always die in the old Star Trek tv shows and movies? The young man asked about this pressing issue is a loyal soldier of the Galactic Empire. He is the next generation of soldiers in his universe who wear the uniforms that provide the least amount of camouflage I have ever seen. He is a stormtrooper under the command of Darth Vader. Here is the interview.Awesome Reporter Eclipse: Hello, young man. What is your name?
Stormtrooper: Are you a droid?
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: No. I'm an awesome reporter, as you can see by the title next to my name that came before these sentences.
Stormtrooper: I am a faithful soldier of the Galactic Empire.
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: I'm sure you are. Do you know why you're here?
Stormtrooper: To destroy rebel scum?
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: No. You are here to answer a question. Why do the red shirts always die in the old Star Trek series?
Stormtrooper: Because they're rebel scum?
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: They're not rebels.
Stormtrooper: Are they droids?
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: No, they are not.
Stormtrooper: Have you seen the droids I've been looking for?
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: No, I have not. So, what are your theories on why red shirts die?
Stormtrooper: I have a white shirt.
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: I'm talking about people from Star Trek.
Stormtrooper: Are they in alliance with the rebel scums?
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: They're from the future.
Stormtrooper: I must go find two droid. If you have not seen them then talking to you is useless to the Empire. *Stormtrooper raises blaster and fires it at Awesome Reporter Eclipse. The stormtrooper ends up destroying his own speeder.*
Awesome Reporter Eclipse: Good bye, Mr. Stormtrooper. *Teleports away from the Star Wars universe.*
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